Wednesday, January 13, 2010

what does it all mean?

Yesterday at sunset an earthquake with a 7.0 magnitude hit the country of Haiti. I found out about this incident around 11:00PM and the first thing I thought about was my customers from work that live near Port au Prince. My next thought was "Oh no...what about the children from Compassion?" The children that I sponsor live in Brazil and Bangladesh so I knew they were safe, but what about the others?

I don't know why, but anytime there is a school shooting, natural disaster, or really just life taken away unexpectedly it always hits me hard. Before I became a Christian these things didn't matter to me. Of course I felt bad when I heard of disasters, but it didn't strike a chord. Nowadays, I am impacted by tons of these stories. When the Virginia Tech shooting happened I literally cried for days. When I found out about the murders of Melanie Goodwin, Eve Carson, and Anne Pressly I was a mess. I believe that God uses these situations to impact me for a reason, but I still haven't figured it out yet. I have a very low tolerance for injustice, but what does it all mean?

When pictures of the earthquake damage began being posted online I should have looked away. They don't put a "Warning: Graphic Photos" label on things for nothing. You would think this warning would have stopped me in my tracks, but it didn't. I began to see people of different ages and race lying lifelessly on the street. My heart stopped when I saw a baby girl being held in her father's arm. He was hysterical, and I can only assume she was dead. It's times like these when I wish I had skills to help. If I knew how to fly a plane I could bring supplies. If I was a doctor then I could go help those who are injured. Well, I can't fly a plane and needles freak me out. I hate feeling helpless. I am definitely praying for these people but I want to do more. For now, I will have to sit tight. But what about in the future?

The song that you hear when you come to my blog is called "Change" by Carrie Underwood. It's one of those songs that encourage me to no end. My favorite part of the song is this:

The world's so big it can break your heart
And you just wanna help
Not sure where to start
So you close your eyes
And send up a prayer into the dark

Oh the smallest thing can all the difference
Love is alive
Don't listen to them when they say
You're just a fool
Just a fool
To believe you can change the world

It's tragedies like the Haiti Earthquake that make me question what I am doing with my life. Pastor Fred just preached a sermon on living like you were dying. Well, I'm ready to start doing that. I want to help more and complain less. I want to stop letting all of the little things bring me down. I have been questioning what I am majoring in lately and feel like God is planting a seed in me to change paths. If you guys could, please pray that I would choose the path that He has meant for me. Also, please pray for those in Haiti. They need more than we could ever imagine.

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