Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Help! My Midwife is AWFUL!

I have been seeing my awesome doctor during my entire pregnancy. He works in a practice with 7 physicians and 5 midwives. Recently, I found out that it will be a midwife, not my doctor, who will deliver my baby. The doctor will only be called if I need a c-section. 

So, there are 5 midwives in the practice and so far I've met 3. One was wonderful, one was nice but stern, and this last one...well she is just a awful. :( I met her today and I am now beyond terrified of going into labor and having her deliver Gavin! There's obviously a 1-in-5 chance that it will be her, but still...that is not comforting!

My visit began with her entering the room and casually announcing that I am positive for Strep B. No introductions, no nothing. Just "Well, you're positive for GBS." She proceeds to tell me that I'll just need antibiotics when I get to the hospital, but if my water breaks and I am not progressing then they will induce me. 

WOAH now. What?! Who says I won't progress? And what are you talking about?!?!

I asked her how much time they allow to track my progress and when exactly would they try to speed things up. She told me that she couldn't give me a time. I then told her that I do not want Pitocin and that is my last option. She immediately asks why I don't want Pitocin, so I tell her that from what I've read and from people I've spoken to it just makes things way more intense. 

Her response? 

"Well duh!! If you aren't having contractions and then you are given Pitocin, you will go from zero contractions to many, and therefore it will be worse." Welllll then, thanks for clearing that up! But that's not what I said!

I then tell her that I have a birth plan but am flexible to medication, an epidural, etc. This woman responds with this -- "You have a birth plan? You should just leave that at home! All the nurses are going to do is laugh about it at the nurses station!"

What. the. hell. At this point I responded with "Well in that case I'll just have my freaking baby at home!!!" 

Y'all, I was so upset. This lady knew that I had a birth plan and preceded to tell me that I'll be laughed at. REALLY??? The appointment went on like this for the next 15 minutes of her and I going back and forth. She was so negative, so rude, and so freaking mean. I left the office in tears and was just praying so hard that this woman would not be the one at the hospital on the day I go into labor. Because if she is, and I don't know how this would technically work, but I am going to refuse treatment from her. I will not have someone so negative delivering my child. 

At the childbirth class on Saturday I did get the number to a doula and left a message with her today. While this wasn't something Keith and I had considered before, I definitely think I am going to need one with me so that I can relax and not have to fight with the medical staff or, if this midwife is on duty, her!

I am so sorry for this rant, but I am so upset to a) find out that my doctor will not be the one to deliver Gavin, and b) that I will potentially have to deal with this mean woman. :( 

Prayers for everything to work out are much appreciated...


lindsayinnyc said...

Yikes. Is there anyone at the office that you can talk to about her behavior/treatment? I feel like they shoulder know (if they don't already). Good luck with the doula!!

Pink and Green Moms said...

Oh my...that is not acceptable. I would call up there and complain on her tomorrow. I also think your doctor should have told you from the beginning that he wouldn't be delivering the baby...that too is unacceptable. I think if it ends up being that mean woman on your delivery day, I would politely tell her that she is not touching you and they better find you someone else. If you want, I can come up from Savannah and tell her for you :) Praying for ya! -e

Callie Nicole said...

Wow, that's crazy that they are just now telling you it won't be the doctor! And that lady sounds awful. I'll pray that she won't be on duty when you go into labor! I went to a group practice and had a bad experience with one doctor, and I was just praying she wouldn't be on call when the time came. But what do you know, when I arrived at the hospital to be induced she on duty. But she was SO MUCH NICER then than when I first met her. So maybe if she is there she'll be nicer when you are actually in labor too. And totally bring your birth plan, because even though some nurses might not look at it, some will.

Al said...

Sweetheart, I know ZIP about children or delivery - but I do know that her behavior was WRONG and you should speak to someone immediately about it. I would have no fear if I were you about confronting the issue head on. That woman needs to be removed from the practice, and I can hardy imagine what horror stories other women have who had to deal with her nonsense.

I am so sorry you had to go through that, but make sure you never have to see her again.

I'll call and pretend to be you if you want :)

Hang in there, and cannot wait to meet baby Gavin!!


Anna Baur said...

Oh my gosh! She must have missed ALL of her patient care classes in midwifery school!!!!! That is so terrible, and I think you are doing a great job and going about things wonderfully (including having a birth plan!)! You should call your doctor and speak to him about your concerns and displeasure with this midwife. He may be able to work something out to make sure you don't get her...I hope everything works out!!!! I'm sure that, in the end, it will all be ok because Gavin will be here! :)

Bursting at the Seams said...

Oh my goodness!! I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I will be praying for you & your family!


Lauren said...

Ughhh...what a frustrating situation! And seriously, you should talk with your dr's office because that is completely unacceptable!

And this may not make you feel any better at all, but let me tell you something, and I'm sure you'll hear about it otherwise...the dr's do almost NOTHING! The nurses in the room will be the ones who give you all the direction and from everyone I've talked with and heard from through the blog world...most all labor & delivery nurses (including my own) are fabulous!

however, with that said...why is that midwife doing what she's doing if shes' going to act that way...I mean seriously!?!?

BARBIE said...

Wow! How can a women who is supposed to be helping women with their birthing be so cold and harsh. I definately would call and complain. I am praying she will be no where near you when you deliver.

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