Thursday, June 27, 2013

Happy Due Date Day!

Well, today is Arabella's due date...and I am still pregnant. :) I have to say, I did not think that she would still be in my womb on this day, but that's fine by me. I keep reminding myself that a due date is only an estimate of her arrival, and if she's not ready yet, then I certainly do not mind housing her. :) 

 Taken yesterday - 39 weeks, 6 days

I will admit that I am not proud of my lack of patience. I've been quite annoying lately with my constant whining. Any woman nearing her due date can probably relate, and I'm sure it's totally normal to be in this impatient state of mind. But it makes me feel completely insane sometimes. I should probably explain a little more of my situation though. 

About a month ago, my grandmother (Me-Maw) had her gull bladder removed due to some pain she was experiencing. After the surgery, we discovered that she actually has cancer of the liver and has been on a steady decline in health since. The doctors have told us that they think she only has a few days left to live, and it is completely breaking my heart. This all happened so quickly!

 Me-Maw and me on my wedding day

She is only 71 years old and has always been in great health. My Me-Maw is such a wonderful woman and I hate that she is going through this. More than anything, I'm praying that Arabella arrives before Me-Maw passes away. It would mean the world to me for her to see my daughter. And it's just backwards. Me-Maw is supposed to be here for this. Right?!? I did speak to her recently on FaceTime and she told me congratulations and that Bella looks just like me...I'm not sure if she's seen her or if she's just confused, but hearing her say that made my heart happy. 

So, while I don't have any control over the timing of arrivals and departures, I am trusting that the Lord knows exactly what He's doing. Because He does.

Another thing that is adding to the anticipation of Arabella's arrival is the fact that I'm going to attempt to have another natural birth. I was successful with delivering Gavin naturally and everything went as well as it possibly could have. And that makes me nervous. How will Bella's labor/delivery go? Will it be harder? Is it possible for it to be easier? Physically, I think the odds are in my favor. I know what I'm getting myself into this time and am in much better shape for this pregnancy. Mentally, I am my biggest obstacle. So, in trying to prepare I've been soaking in the following verses with the hopes that I will remember them during labor.

Cast all of your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you. 
1 Peter 5:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

God is our refuge and strength; an ever-present help in times of trouble.
Psalm 46:1

It is only a matter of time before my daughter arrives and my whole world changes again. Life is stressful, but I'm trying my best to just breathe and trust in Him. Until her arrival, I'm going to try and relax and just enjoy these crazy last few days of pregnancy. 


Mrs.HVK said...

Sending you lots of thoughts and prayers during this time!

The Baurs said...

Thinking of you!!! Your daughter is going to be precious! Can't wait!!!!!

I'maNolaGirl said...

God bless your family. It's so hard to deal with the sadness of impending loss and the joy of impending arrival simultaneously. My grandmother was diagnosed with kidney cancer just days before I found out I was pregnant with Jane. So crushing... She didn't make it to Jane's arrival, but I know she saw her before she came. I had a dream about a week before Jane was due and I saw my grandmother rocking her in her rocking chair. It all seemed too real not to have been in some way.

I hope that sweet baby girl decides to join you all soon. Thinking of you!


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